Tuesday, January 11, 2005

It's Too Big!!

::cries:: It doesn't fit! It's too big!!

I seamed up Mum's hat last night, and ran into the bathroom to try it on. Some people say that hats make them look phallic. Well, this hat made my head look like a big nipple. I'm calling it the NippleHat from now on.

Supposedly, the hat is supposed to be a cute cap that rests just above your eyebrows after you fold up half the ribbing. I've instead discovered that if you only fold up half the ribbing, the hat makes a great nosewarmer. Literally - it covers your nose. I could have easily cut 3 inches - THREE INCHES - from the pattern, and it would've been so much better.

You know what's even worse? This isn't my fault (well, not really). My gauge is spot-on. I knit the pattern exactly as I was supposed to.


I've learned three things from this experience:

1. Even if you're right, you can still get screwed.

2. Photos LIE!!! Especially photos with models in them, since we all know they live in the lying liarly world of airbrushing and invisible pinning. It was only after the fact that I noticed that the top of the model's head is never shown in the hat photo.

3. Never trust a garment pattern with no schematic. I kept hoping I was overlooking it somehow, but it definitely wasn't there. If it had been, I would've thought twice before knitting the NippleHat as written. Thus, from now on, if a garment is lacking a schematic, I'm drawing my own. (Which is what I should've done in the first place. Ah well... hindsight, and all that.)

The funny thing is, as I was knitting the hat, I kept thinking how much I loved it, and how I might just keep it for myself and knit my mum another. Well, it looks like I got exactly what I wished for. I've decided to try and salvage it, instead of ripping out all my beautiful cable work. I can't bear to destroy it. Instead, I think I'm going to fold the ribbing to the inside, sew it down, and then when I wear it, I'll fold it again halfway to the outside - thereby still showing the ribbing, but also shortening the hat by about 4 inches.

Who knows... it probably was my fault and I'm just not seeing it. Maybe I will frog, so I deny all knowledge of such a disastrous project.

Ugh. At least it was good practice for the sweater I'm planning to make with the same stitch design.


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